Timmy, mommy drinks because you cry.
Parenting: A journey of Pain – Related Articles
I’ll be honest, children are of most keen interest to me when they’re at least legal drinking age. Therefore I’m not currently a parent and, if popular opinion has anything to do about, it I will remain without child until hell freezes over. That said I seem to remember being a child (Jesus that sucked), my reproducing friends keep ear raping me with unsolicited and unwanted information about their children (how many teeth they have, what they currently eat, what they should eat, if they can sit, blah blah blah blah blah), and I can’t help but running into little rug rats everywhere I go. As if all this didn’t provide me with the irreproachable credentials to speak authoritatively on all child rearing topics my friend whose child is being raised by its grandparents pays $400 a month in her name, he sees her once a week for a few hours (mostly) and is thereby provided the right to call himself Fathers and speak with authority about all subjects juvenile. By that reasoning my significant taxes which pay for many a wee brat and the fact that I too am forced (by circumstance and friends) to spend multiple hours a week in the presence of children must also entitle me to call myself Father hundreds (if not thousands) of times over.
With this kind of pedigree it would be sheer lunacy for any parent not to read (and take notes on) my blog. Think of all the valuable information gleaned from my many minutes of child rearing experience that you’ll miss if you don’t. Information that I guarantee will be of absolutely no use to you in those unforeseen and unlikely circumstances that parents love to prepare for. Look, when I put it that way you have little choice. Just click below and start learning. You’ve paid for those “informative books” now lets get to the real work shall we. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to leave a comment.